I forget birthdays, to RSVP to events, to take the trash cans down to the road, to turn off lights, what I was suppose to do when I entered a room, when to keep my mouth shut…the list could go on and on. I think all of this forgetfulness can be blamed on several things. In my case, maybe its the fact that we have just moved away from home and family, the fact that I am a mom with two little girls, my brain is tired or maybe it is selective…I don’t know.
I can understand forgetting little things, one could argue, even insignificant things. Forgetting to take the garbage cans to the road is not going to cause a major disruption in the flow of the world, maybe a a minor disruption in our household. Forgetting to turn the lights off when I leave a room is not going to cure global warming and the shortage of fuel (may lower Aaron’s blood pressure, but that is beside the point.)
But there are things that I forget sometimes that do make a huge difference, at least in my own life. It is sad how quickly one forgets, even if for a moment, how much God loves them and how good God really is! At times, nothing seems good enough. I forget how much God provides for me…and like a little kid just keep demanding more and more.
The last couple days have been a great example of this for me!
We traveled back to TN for the weekend and had a tremendous visit. We had great weather, easy travel (well, as easy as traveling with a 7 and a 9 year old can be) and a nice home to return to. Monday morning came and we all woke up happy and healthy and returned to jobs and camps without blinking an eye.
But the complaining, at least from me, began in earnest on Monday about mid-morning when I learned that the tire on the car had gone flat. Just one more thing going wrong in my life!! I was actually very put out that we may have to get a new tire. I couldn’t believe we were going to have this expense. It wasn’t bad enough that we are living on practically nothing because we were following God’s leading to seminary…you can just imagine the rest of the pity party I was having in my head and the conversations I was having with God. To say the least, I was making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Then that afternoon, Aaron calls to tell me the heat pump had broken and the AC wasn’t working. So, I call and let the powers that be know that we were having an issue with the heat pump. Can you believe that the repair man was not able to come out IMMEDIATELY? It would be late afternoon on Tuesday before he would make it to our place…again…the audacity of people..don’t they know our house is about 82 degrees inside?
So we complained and whine throughout the evening and the night. It was too hot to cook so we ate peanut butter sandwiches and cereal. The girls complained about an uncooked supper. Sleep came but wasn’t great. I was cranky. Aaron was cranky. AUGH!
I was feeling pretty sorry for myself on Tuesday and was very homesick. I was torn between being excited that Gary was starting at the church in “Aaron’s” position and upset that we were being “replaced.” The positive feed back loop of self pity can be destructive! The tire couldn’t be fixed. We had to buy a BRAND new tire!! I was not liking it and really let God know.
It’s funny how God just lets us stew for a while, and OH how I stewed. I’m not like this very often, but man I was mush I had stewed so long….
I started sharing with my co-workers how spoiled I felt because I was so upset by my air conditioning being out. I read Gary’s blog and felt ashamed out how I was feeling about him being at Wesley–he was so excited to be there!
God took that moment of willingness to look beyond myself and jumped on it! I started realizing that we had many things for which to be thankful.
The tire did not go flat until after we had traveled several hundred miles home instead of going flat on us in the middle of nowhere on our way back to Kentucky. The weather was unseasonably mild with low humidity during the time of our pioneer days (aka when the air conditioning didn’t work) and it was repaired in a little over 24 hours (just in time for a massive heat wave.) Our needs were met and exceeded the whole time. We weren’t comfortable, physically or mentally, but God was taking care of us.
It is amazing to me how quickly I, and maybe you, forget that God is GOOD! Even in the midst of turmoil, major or minor, God is good. How quickly I, and maybe you, forget how good and comfortable the life we have. Even in the midst of heartache, homesickness, grief, disappointment, our lives are more comfortable the vast majority of our brothers and sisters with which we share this round ball we call home.
Maybe it’s because we are tired. Maybe it’s because we are overwhelmed. Maybe it’s because we choose to forget…God is GOOD! All the time….even when we have a flat tire, the AC isn’t working and we are missing home.
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